As I was watching videos on YouTube, I came across the image of an attractive blond woman gyrating in fishnet lingerie singing a very catchy tune with enthusiasm and talent. It was Lady Gaga singing her hit song, “The Edge of Glory”:
There ain’t a reason you and me should be alone tonight yeah baby tonight yeah baby, I got a reason that you-hoo should take me home tonight . . . (Lady Gaga, Edge of Glory)
Though I liked the song and found myself singing along to the chorus, I felt I had to object to the sentiment behind it. It is probably useless, but I want to attempt to provide a reason that two young people “should be alone tonight”.
God’s Purpose for Sex
Sexuality is a gift from God that he wants you to enjoy to the fullest extent possible. Contrary to what your hormones and Lady Gaga are telling you, however, enjoying sex to the fullest extent possible does not mean having a series of flings with attractive members of the opposite sex with whom you are infatuated. Enjoying sex to the fullest extent possible means pursuing a deep and emotionally intimate relationship with a person who is striving to love others as much as they love themselves. That two human beings learn to love one another in a deep and lasting way is God’s true purpose for sexual intimacy. To illustrate the kind of love we are talking about here, let us consider a woman dying of cancer named Linda and her husband of many years:
Linda: “I was going back over the memories of our lifetime together trying to think of when I loved you most. I remember that weekend we spent in Mexico where we ran naked through the surf of that deserted beach. I remember the ski weekend we spent in Boulder where we were supposed to meet Matt and Jane but they couldn’t make it. We had the cabin to ourselves and what a wonderful time we had! When did you love me most?”
Dave: “The weekend in Mexico was the most fun I have had in my entire life and I will treasure the memory of our trip to Boulder for as long as I live, but the most I have ever loved you is in this room right now.”
Linda: “That cannot be. I cannot get out of bed to go to the bathroom and I look absolutely terrible. Be serious with me.”
Dave: “I am being serious with you. As I look at you now, I see the greatest gift that God has given me in this life and I remember all the times that we have had together and I do not know what I am going to do without you.”
Now there is no miraculous recovery and a few minutes later she dies because this is often the way that these things go in this world. In the tremendous sadness of the parting we are confronted with the great challenge of God’s purpose for suffering, but in the beauty of the relationship we can see God’s purpose for sexual intimacy.
Does this kind of intimacy seem desirable to you? If so, then let us consider the question of how best to attain it. To that end, let us contrast the relationship between Dave and Linda with a different relationship:
Jane: “I was going back over the memories of our lifetime together trying to think of when I loved you most. I remember that weekend we spent in Mexico where we ran naked through the surf of that deserted beach. I remember the ski weekend we spent in Boulder where we were supposed to meet Matt and Carla but they couldn’t make it. We had the cabin to ourselves and what a wonderful time we had! When did you love me most?”
Frank: “I think the drugs are making you a little woozy. You went on that trip to Mexico with your former boyfriend Bob. The trip to Boulder was also before my time. I think it might have been that Sam guy you went out with.”
Jane: “Oh. I’m sorry. I guess the drugs were making me a bit woozy.”
Frank: “No problem. By the way, I just met another woman. She is a bit younger than me, in her thirties, but we had a great weekend in Aspen. We have decided to get hitched. So long and thanks for all the fun! Good luck with the whole cancer thing!”
It seems obvious that a relationship of true and lasting intimacy is the product of hard work and a lifetime of shared memories. If this is true, can we really say that:
There ain’t a reason you and me should be alone tonight?